Over two years ago I started this movement toward health. I called it #Fitby30 (you can see other postings on that here). I started this at 29 because I wanted to be fit by the age 30; yet, now as I look toward 32, at the same weight I started with at 28, I’ve learned quite a few things.
What I’ve learned most is that losing weight is a spiritual process.
Spiritual Process – wha-what?
As a Christian, I believe that God created me whole – my body, mind, and soul are all one. I cannot separate the body and soul, though I have tried! I would tell God, “All right, help me lose weight, but let’s not touch my emotional weight I am carrying.” It wasn’t until I started seeing them as the same thing that I began to realize that God was answering my prayer to heal my body, but it wasn’t in the way I thought.
He cares more about the interior than the exterior; although, friends, the exterior can also reflect your interior. So, if you’re a mess on the outside there’s a good chance you’re a mess on the inside. And the mess is okay! The mess shows our desperate need for God. The problem is if you allow the mess to build and act as a barrier between you and God.
There are also people who are incredibly messy on the inside and who are put together on the outside. They still need Jesus as much as I do and the outward perfection is their barrier.
Basically, we all need Jesus.
So, Where Am I Now?
So here I am nearly 32 and finally accepting the good work God is doing in me. I am celebrating that I am a mess and that God is helping me clean it up. I am celebrating that while the last two years have been a battle and I have may have lost some, God has also given me many victories. So, that’s why I wanted to mark this year with a photo.
Before Photos Are Tricky
There’s this big movement to do a before and after photo that seems to show the before image one as depressed, slouchy, unhappy, and most importantly, captured with a poor quality camera. And then the after photo is the complete opposite of that.
I get why we do it. I do. I really do. For one thing, we want to motivate others and even ourselves. We want to show the extent of change we may (or may not) have experienced.
But I’m not about that.
I want to honor God and celebrate the body that God has given me now. I want to confidently proclaim that I am beautiful and worthy at this moment.
Do I still have more weight to lose? Of course. Yet my weight loss does not change how I feel about myself — I am fearfully and wonderfully made; I am created in the image of God; and I am the King’s Daughter who is deeply loved and chosen.
Weight loss or gain does not take that away from me.
So to celebrate the work He has done in me and to celebrate the work He will do, I took some before photos.
My Before Photos
I am sure you just scrolled down to this section to see these awesome photos by Heather Love. Yes, a big shout-out to Heather Allison Love Photography for taking these photos for me.
Yes, the bottom right photo is my Valkyrie/Body-Builder Friend Lisa shot.
And lastly, I am posting this shot below because it comprises some of my least favorite parts of my body. And yet still, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.