#FitbyFirst: The Fat Girl

3-CombeeElementaryComplex-stairwell-3c--19It’s now day 8 of Fit by First (or Fourth) and I am feeling it.

I am learning a lot about myself, how strong I truly am, what I am capable of, and the importance of perseverance. My body is insane. I love the feeling of holding plank position and your entire body is shaking. Although, I did have to repeat over and over again the why I am doing this because, yes, I wanted to quit!

I was talking to my housemates the other night about my whys and I said how frustrating it’s been to be the fat girl the majority of my life. I knew at age 8 that I was chubby — the recess kids loved informing me of that and “mooing” at me any chance they got. I’ve had 21 years of this false identity placed on me and I’ve accepted it. I joked that my fat girl identity is now at the legal age of drinking. They didn’t find it too funny, but that’s the thing — I have to laugh at these painful things in my life. And yet, looking back at old pictures of myself at age 8, I wasn’t that chubby. I was a kid going through puberty. Yet, I let that stigma of being a fat girl kid define me and direct future decisions.

I am so thankful the chains have been broken and I can be who God created me to be. And without getting too morbid, I am utterly thankful that I get to experience this version of me. It took 29 years to get here, but I am here.

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