It’s weird going through old photos and not being able to recognize yourself.
I have photos of me at heavier times, but this one popped out at me. I remember myself at this time. I was living with my parents, working long hours at the university, eating all the contents in my parent’s kitchen, definitely not exercising, and I was extremely depressed.
I remember crying a lot when it came to my clothes. None of them fit. And my brother (not pictured) was fit and was constantly trying to get me to exercise and to eat healthier. He was so aggressive about it too. It definitely had the opposite effect.
I remember seeing a photo of my mom when she was over 300 pounds on the fridge every time I opened it to grab something else to eat; something else to satiate the craving for comfort. I remember thinking that I would eventually end up like her, and instead of getting the gastric bypass surgery she received, I would just gain and gain and gain until I died.
I was so depressed and discouraged then.
I am so utterly thankful that I am not that person anymore. That when I look in the mirror I don’t see that picture above. And it’s not because I am pounds less, but because the depression and hopelessness is gone. The inside of me, the most important part of me, has been changed for the better.