It’s been a year since I started this journey of Fitby30.
There were several reasons why I started losing weight, but the one that started it all – the origin, the catalyst, the genesis, if you will – can be traced back to my annual physical when my doctor told me I had pre-signs of diabetes.
So, fast-forward one year and it’s my anniversary! I returned to the doctor’s office last week and I must say I kicked ass this year. All of my numbers went down in the right direction. And yes, I was giving and taking a superfluous amounts of high fives.
So, why am I bummed?
 I sustained an injury while doing some push-ups.
I tore a tendon and will be starting physical therapy next week. I did this back in January but decided to ignore it. This, my friends, wasn’t the best idea. It led me to further injure myself, but also working out is now associated with the bad kind of pain. I’ve learned it’s best to stop and reevaluate and then modify.
 I haven’t seen the results I wanted and I’ve let it affect me.
I have been eating rather poorly as of late. It doesn’t help I am depressed, so I am going to food for comfort and for further abuse. So, of course the working out isn’t going to be enough. So, what did I do instead? I ate cookies.
 Allowing other people’s expectations affect me.
While the nurse was giving me high fives in excitement, my doctor was more concerned with my high BMI and wanted to make sure I was going to continue my progress. I understand why he was asking, but it definitely made me feel like all of my hard work was for naught. I have to remember that I am not doing it for him, but for myself.
It’s important to remember the why you are doing something to motivate and sustain your passion. So, why am I doing this?
Here are 3 whys:
- I want to be healthy (no diabetes for me, if I can help it!).
- Prove that I can (I’ve told myself that I am a fat girl and I don’t have to be. While other people have said some horrible things about me, what counts most is what I think about myself, so I am changing the way I think about myself through this journey).
- Motivate others (I have seen the fruit of my obedience and it’s been to motivate others to live a healthy lifestyle and I love it. It circles around and motivates me too).
So, while I wish I could be more like this:
I am more like this:
And that’s okay. I’ll get through this season. And hey, I am still showing up to the gym and eating better — little things add up — and they have.