One of the first memories I have of Chicago is walking on California Ave. and Milwaukee Ave. passing the many bars and restaurants that align the area to meet my friend who was waiting to pick me up in her car. There were so many men standing around, attractive men, more attractive than the men in California. They were smiling at me, saying hello to me, and you know what I did? I ran. I literally ran away from them.
I got to the car and laughed with my friend. What did I just do? I confessed to her, “If I wasn’t Christian, man this place would be dangerous for me!” I never had that type of attention in California.
Fast forward years and the woman who would run away from men was slowing down — a little jog, a light fast walk; instead the “Get behind me Satan!” attitude evolved into “God, why can’t I have that?”
I started to make exceptions in my head. I started to lower my standards. And friends and family were lowering theirs, as well. I had several people tell me that I just needed to have sex with multiple partners, have fun, and get married to just a nice guy. I don’t need to wait for some great guy. An okay guy will do. This was painful to hear. What is wrong with me? Shouldn’t these people who are my own blood want the best for me? Why do I need to settle?
Did this weigh on me? Yes.
Did this influence me? Unfortunately, yes.
Did I act on any of it? Somewhat. The most extreme thing I did was date a Catholic man for a couple of months. We broke up because it was obvious our passion for Jesus was not the same.
When I became a Christian nine years ago I fell in love. When I moved to Chicago God really became my husband. I had to rely on Him for so many things. When I asked God, “Why can’t I have that?” I was looking at my friends with their significant others, having kids, and creating a family. I was comparing my life to theirs. God graciously reminded me that I already had what I needed. And it’s true. I am a content and blessed woman.
So what is it that I am looking for in a man? What are my high expectations? My impossible standard?
- I want a man who loves Jesus and who wants others to love Jesus.
- I want a man who is kind; who has a repentant heart.
- I want a man who follows Jesus; who is being sanctified daily.
I know that’s a lot to ask, but that man right there is worth waiting for, and I know I am worth waiting for too.
Maybe he’s in Chicago, maybe he’s somewhere else, or maybe I am fated to be single.
Either way, I’ll hang out with Jesus. I will continue to love Him and desire others to do the same; I will continue to work on kindness and having a repentant heart; I will follow Jesus and continue to let him sanctify me daily.
I am not waiting. I am living for Jesus.